Overcoming Approach Anxiety Dating Women in Cartagena

Respect and a kind smile go a long way with women in Cartagena. | Photo by Gabriela Pereira on Pexels

Walking along the colorful streets of Cartagena, Colombia, one cannot help but feel invigorated by the fresh breeze and vibrant atmosphere. Strolling through the old town square, you can almost feel the music flowing through your veins. As you survey its corners and cafe’s, you come to the realization that everywhere you look, there are beautiful Colombian women accentuating the Cartagena townscape.

Then there is that one particular lady who catches your eye. She is of course unaccompanied, or at least that is what you observe. Physically, she is everything you adore. It is at this moment that your mind starts racing, thought after thought ensuing in hurried fashion. You know for a fact that you want to talk to her. You may never get another chance.

Frozen in your own thoughts for what seems an eternity, you flashback to the times when you were rejected in your romantic advances. Feelings of embarrassment, regret, and doubt pulsate in your chest region. “What if?” A conditional phrase with infinite outcomes.

This feeling isn’t new to you. You have approach anxiety, and you will continue to have it whenever you approach, communicate, or meet people either for the first time or in an uncomfortable situation. Fear of rejection is among the most common that people face.

Whether you have the confidence of a crimson-clad matador in a bull farm or suffer from social anxiety, here are some tips to help you overcome the latter and charm an attractive Colombian lady:

• You’re in Cartagena.

You’re in a beautiful foreign country! Cons: No one knows you. Pros: No one knows you! The biggest opportunity to try new things is where no one knows you, so you don’t have to deal with the baggage of your biggest failures back home.

If you mess up, no one of significance to you will remember, providing your best friend isn’t with you, sadistically filming your every awkward move.

Cartagena is a beautiful, lively city. You can almost hear the music with every step you take. It’s a place to be alive! It’s a place to be adventurous. Even a cup of Colombian coffee is enough to get your confidence to a level 10. If there was ever a place to meet new people, take risks, and get out of your shell, it’s Cartagena!

• Play the lost tourist.

What’s a better excuse to approach a random stranger than by asking for directions or travel tips? If you feel lost for words, just tell her you’re lost!

Try asking for directions to the local market, or which restaurant you should try. Tell her you want to learn about Cartagena history. Every single inquiry about what to do and where to go in Cartagena is a possible conversation opener.

Women in Colombia are known to be polite, friendly, and helpful. They would love to help you out and advise you on how to make your stay memorable. Little do they know dating them is on the itinerary!

Another excellent way to spark a conversation is to ask her to teach you useful Spanish words. By asking for language tips, you open yourself up to a treasure trove of conversation topics.

• Don’t be in a hurry.

Men have a tendency to imagine the conclusion before lifting a single finger. Even while sipping coffee and staring at beautiful women, men tend to daydream in great detail about an ensuing romantic affair. Some imagine marrying the lady, others don’t go much beyond sleeping with them.

In either case, take it one step at a time. Prepare your conversation starter, don’t think too much, approach her, and take it from there. When we put too much expectation on ourselves, we end up looking like blabbering fools. By being calm, you keep aware of what’s going on and you can remain sharp as you converse with her.

• She won’t bite.

At the end of the day, “No me caes bien.” are just words. Latinas have many desirable traits, and some may look like goddesses to you. Don’t put them on a pedestal. You are both interesting individuals in your own way, and if it doesn’t work out, then it’s not the end of the world.

If, however, she starts to threaten you whilst wielding a sharp object, you might need to consider that you’re in the wrong part of town.

• Don’t overthink.

This advice works for pretty much any worry-inducing event. The reality is that whether you end up being politely refused or viciously chased away, being natural is always the best approach.

Calmness and confidence are contagious. Ladies usually let down their defenses when they don’t sense any agitation or nervousness from a guy. Don’t try to impress, but try to relate.

Your real problem is what goes on in your head. Every negative emotion, hesitation, and doubt occurs in the mind, not in reality. This is only intensified by overthinking and worrying.

If you want to beat approach anxiety, take a deep breath and empty your thoughts. When that’s done, find the next best and simplest thing to do, like standing up, then walking.

• Always be respectful.

A follow-up to being confident is to not overdo it. While many girls seem to run off with the bad boys, being naturally confident without being arrogant is almost always the better option.

Always say the magic words, like please and thank you (or in your specific case, por favor and gracias). Ladies in the end want to be treated well, and as a man, it is your civic duty to do so.

When you two end up dating, you always want to remain sincere and genuine with her, and her with you, if you want to create something special.

• Be a good conversationalist.

Once you get the ball rolling, don’t talk too much about yourself. Ask her questions and listen to her answers. Sprinkle your conversation with compliments, and watch out for subtle hints in her body language and facial expressions. Also, remember, you’re a tourist. If you find yourself out of words, just ask which place serves the best coffee and ask to see her there again!

It’s normal to get butterflies in your stomach whenever faced with the self-imposed task of approaching a lady you’re attracted to. Understand that while Colombian women are still women, you have many advantages going for you.

You have nothing to lose, and even if you manage a colossal mess up, she might find you cute for trying.

In the end, if you want to do things the right way AND without the assistance of a few alcoholic beverages, you just need to stand up, walk up to the lady, and say hi. Everything else in between is purely mental, hence the less you think, the better.

Whatever the consequence, you will always have a memory for which you can fondly smile or giggle for years to come, in the colorful and lively city of Cartagena!